For Parents
Resources & support for parents
Lovewise wants to support parents in their role and responsibility as primary educators of their children. We seek to do this in two ways.
We provide resources for parents to use with their children at home, as well as resources that can be used in schools.
In addition we are happy to discuss parental concerns and give advice to parents who contact us because they are concerned about the sex and relationships education that their children are receiving at school.
Why teach about marriage and relationships at home?
Parents have the primary responsibility for educating their children. We live in a society where our children are bombarded by many different messages about relationships. In this environment it is essential that they receive clear teaching. One of the most important roles for Christian parents is to help their children apply Biblical truths to every aspect of their lives including understanding why sexual purity before marriage is so important, and why God’s ways are best.
It can be hard to talk about such intimate matters with your child. The authors have prepared material to make this task easier. This material can be introduced when the parent feels the child's maturity is appropriate and allows the parents to gauge the response of their child to the information given.
The resource growing up...growing wise@home could be used prior to school sex and relationships education or if a parent withdraws their child from school sex education it could be used to replace the school teaching. Primary school sex education is not statutory and not compulsory.
Sex education in schools
Many parents are concerned about the sex and relationships education their children are receiving at school. We are happy to discuss parental concerns and give advice.
Lovewise produces material for use in schools on the subjects of marriage, sex and relationships. Our resources can either be used by a teacher or given by a visiting Lovewise presenter. Two of our school resources, Relationships Matter and Marriage, Sex & Living Wisely, are available online free of charge, and there are several others available to purchase.
Information about sex education in schools
Section 80A of the Education Act 2002 states that pupils should learn about the nature of marriage and its importance for family life and the bringing up of children. Is this being taught in your child’s school?
Parents have a right to see any sex education material which will be shown to their children and to know when this teaching will take place.
Schools should work in partnership with parents, giving parents the information they need for meaningful consultation.
Many children would prefer to learn about relationships and sex from their parents, rather than in school.
Secondary Schools - The DfE guidance Relationships Education, Relationships and Sex Education (RSE) and Health Education states that, after appropriate discussion with the headteacher, a school should respect the parents’ request to withdraw their child from sex education. This guidance applies up to and until three terms before the child turns 16, after which point, if the child wishes to receive sex education rather than be withdrawn, the school should make arrangements to provide the child with sex education during one of those terms.
Primary Schools - The DfE guidance states that parents who request to withdraw a pupil from any sex education delivered in primary schools, other than as part of the science curriculum, will have their request granted automatically by the head teacher.
Please note that there is no longer any right to withdraw from Relationships Education or Health Education in either secondary or primary schools.
Teaching following the legal redefinition of marriage
Since the legal change to the definition of marriage, many teachers have been uncertain what they are allowed to teach on the subject of marriage. Recent guidance from the Equality and Human Rights Commission (EHRC) provides helpful clarification that the traditional, biblical nature of marriage can continue to be taught schools.
Here are a few quotes from the EHRC guidance:
“Maintained secondary schools have a legal requirement to teach about the ‘nature of marriage’” and in so doing they “must accurately state the facts about marriage of same sex couples”. However, “no school, or individual teacher, is under a duty to support, promote or endorse marriage of same sex couples.”
“Teachers, other school staff, governors, parents and pupils are all free to hold whatever personal views they choose on marriage of same sex couples, including a view that marriage should only be between a man and a woman. The Government recognises that the belief that marriage can only be between a man and a woman is a belief worthy of respect in a democratic society.”
“Schools with a religious character can continue to deliver sex and relationship education in accordance with their particular religious doctrines or ethos. They must do so in a sensitive, reasonable, respectful and balanced way.”
Helpful publications
For more information on these issues you may find the following publications useful:
Too much too young: exposing primary school sex education
A look at the explicit nature of some commonly used primary sex education materials.
Download from The Christian Institute
Retaining Values in RSE: a guide for parents
You might also find it useful to contact the School Gate Campaign who have a helpful toolkit available to support concerned parents
Talking to children about puberty
In a society where children cannot help seeing sex advertised everywhere, it is important that parents are open to talk about puberty and its implications. It is good to start as they begin to ask questions and to answer those questions in an honest and age-appropriate way. Lovewise resources have been designed to help parents talk to their children about puberty and growing up from a medically correct, marriage-based and Biblical perspective.
'Growing up…growing wise @home' is an online resource (with an accompanying parents’ booklet) which is divided into five visual presentations of still images for the parent to talk through with their child. It explains the changes of puberty and how boys and girls can deal with them. The resource also talks about love, going out, marriage and how a baby develops from conception to birth.
Two books: 'Growing up God’s way for girls' and 'Growing up God’s way for boys' cover similar material and can be read by 9-13/14 year olds, either alone or with a parent.
If parents show their willingness to talk about puberty, relationships, sex and marriage with their own children, it makes it much more likely that their children will come back and talk to them as they confront difficult issues throughout their teens.
Talking to teens about sex and relationships
Peer influences are likely to become increasingly powerful as children grow through their teenage years. The feelings of romantic love can also be powerful and teenagers may need frequent opportunities to talk through situations with their parents, and always need to feel supported by their parents. Lovewise resources have been designed to help parents and teenagers with these issues.
‘True Love’ is a clear and practical book for young people which looks at what the Bible says about relationships, marriage and sex.
‘Challenges to Living God’s Way’ helps young people to navigate six difficult areas in which it is a challenge to live as a Christian. The book provides a biblical perspective on each topic together with its practical application. Each chapter ends with a real-life story of how God has helped someone personally challenged in that area. The book concludes with three chapters which show how God’s design for marriage and sexual purity is best.