Module 2

What are the benefits of marriage?

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Version: 1.0.7 | Updated: 23/09/2021

Video:

Marriage

Video duration: 0:56

Transcript for reference:

Martin: "I think the best thing about marriage is having someone there all the time. You've always got your best friend with you to talk to about things and to do things together."

Jenny: "Living together, having a future together. We're going to have a baby in five months' time, and knowing that Martin's going to be there and we're going to bring the baby up together is an amazing thing."

Richard: "Raising children - you really can't explain it until you actually do it. Watching you're children grow up is one of the best gifts of life, I think."

Andrea: "Although we've been married thirty three years, I would say that being married now is even better than it was (then). And we had a great honeymoon - but I think it's great now. I love the fact that I'm married - to Richard!" (laughs)

What can we learn about the benefits of marriage from the couples in the video?

3 Good things marriage offers

1. Companionship

2. A secure environment for children

3. The right & healthy place for sexual intimacy

Lifelong friendship

Lifelong commitment

How is cohabitation different from marriage?

SLIDE: How is cohabitation different from marriage?

Nowadays it has become increasingly common for couples to live together (co-habit) – before or instead of getting married.

Cohabiting here means a couple sharing a home and being sexually intimate when they are not married.

Ask the class the question on the slide. Answers might include:

they have not made public promises
they have not signed any legal documents
they may not have rings
they do not share a surname
they would not have to get a divorce if they split up
they do not know how long the relationship will last
they may feel less secure
they are free to walk away from the relationship
they have not made a definite long-term decision about the future

A worksheet to help explore the differences between cohabitation and marriage is supplied for download: Saving Sex for Marriage worksheet (part 2)

Cohabitation: unconditional love?

SLIDE: unconditional love?

Marriage is different from cohabitation. Many cohabiting couples have not made a decision about their long term future. Getting married is a decision to make unconditional promises which will affect the way the couple view the relationship and how they behave.

You could share the following true account: Someone visited two students who were living together. The visitor asked them, "How long are you planning to be together?". Simultaneously, the girl said, "For good", and the guy said, "For the rest of term".

Ask the class what these students had failed to do. They had failed to discuss what their personal expectations were, when they moved in together. This account illustrates the lack of clarity about commitment in the state of cohabitation, in contrast to marriage. This often leads to disappointment and hurt, especially among young people.

For more information on this subject visit:

Cohabitation: Security for children?

Parents still together when their child reaches 15

3 Good things marriage offers

1. Companionship

2. A secure environment for children

3. The right & healthy place for sexual intimacy

Video:

Marriage & children

Video duration: 2:45

Transcript for reference:

Wife: "I suppose one of the main things that children need to feel and to know - is security. Wouldn't you say?"

Husband: "Yes."

Wife: "So - to know that their parents are one hundred percent committed to each other, regardless of what happens, regardless of circumstances, or whatever else is going on. That their parents are both there. And the richness that both parents can put into their children and building them up. There's only so much that I can give, and it's like you're the missing part of the puzzle. Yes, there's a huge amount that we do together and it requires both of us. But, that commitment thing is fundamental, isn't it? I mean our kids - they've seen our wedding videos. It was a bit cringeworthy. A bit dated."

Husband: "I had big hair as well! A big 'high top'."

Wife: "But they really enjoyed hearing us saying our vows. I hope that they do see evidence of those vows in day to day life."

Husband: "Bringing up children is hard work. But then also you have to balance that with work. We've also got to look after our marriage as well. So, we've got to put time into that as well as putting time into the kids. There are particular roles that we'll take. So, cleaning the kids' shoes, polishing the kids' shoes - I'll just kind of take that on and get it done. The kind of day to day nurturing, because I work during the day, that falls down to Lucy. But there's the kind of 'having fun' element - for big stuff like building Lego and all that good stuff! Because I'm a big fan of Lego - I'll sit down with our eldest and I'll build Lego with him.

My own earthly father - I never kind of had him around - so I never kind of had a role model of how I should interact with my wife. And what that was like as a kind of 'father, son' relationship. So certainly, for me, I've been on a real steep learning curve - just to try and understand that. But then also I need to reflect that for my children as well. And if they have a decent role model to work with (OK, they'll take that and improve it, hopefully). If they see what a father is like and what a father should be like, that will hopefully lead them too, (if they were to get married and have kids); they've got a good start for ten, in how they should raise children, and how, more importantly, interact with their wife."

The best thing a couple can do for their children is to love each other.

The privilege of being a father

The privilege of being a mother

Parents work together

Many strong families make a strong society

3 Good things marriage offers

1. Companionship

2. A secure environment for children

3. The right & healthy place for sexual intimacy

Why do brides wear white?

For the thousands of teens I’ve treated and counseled, one of the major causes of depression is sex. I consider it an 'STD' with effects as devastating as, if not more than, HPV, chlymadia or any other.

Dr Meg Meeker MD

SLIDE: For the thousands of teens I’ve treated and counseled, one of the major causes of depression is sex. I consider it an 'STD' with effects as devastating as, if not more than, HPV, chlamydia or any other.

Discuss Dr Meeker's comment¹ comparing depression to an STD (Sexually Transmitted Disease).

This study² also demonstrates a correlation between depression and early sexual activity. This is greater the younger the individual and also greater in girls than in boys.

Sex outside marriage can damage your mental health.

Rates of new sexually transmitted infection (STI) diagnoses among people attending sexual health services by age-group and gender, 2016, England

God designed sex for marriage

3 Good things marriage offers

Module 2

What are the benefits of marriage?

Marriage

3 Good things marriage offers

1. Companionship

2. A secure environment for children

3. The right & healthy place for sexual intimacy

Lifelong friendship

Lifelong commitment

Cohabitation: unconditional love?

Cohabitation: Security for children?

Parents still together when their child reaches 15

3 Good things marriage offers

1. Companionship

2. A secure environment for children

3. The right & healthy place for sexual intimacy

Marriage & children

The privilege of being a father

The privilege of being a mother

Parents work together

Many strong families make a strong society

3 Good things marriage offers

1. Companionship

2. A secure environment for children

3. The right & healthy place for sexual intimacy

Why do brides wear white?

God designed sex for marriage

3 Good things marriage offers

1. Companionship

2. A secure environment for children

3. The right & healthy place for sexual intimacy

Module 2

What are the benefits of marriage?

Other modules: