Module 1

What is marriage?

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Version: 1.0.6 | Updated: 23/09/2021

Marriage -
a good design

Marriage may seem a long
way off...

...but the choices you make NOW in relationships will affect your whole life.

Have you ever been to a wedding?

What do you remember?

Video:

Marriage Vows

Video duration: 2:37

Transcript for reference:

Minister: "We've gathered here in the sight of God and in the presence of this congregation, to witness the joining together of David and Rebecca in marriage. David Paul Baker, will you take Rebecca Starnes as your wife and live together as God has ordained? Will you love her, comfort her, honour and protect her, in sickness and in health, and forsaking all others be faithful to her as long as you both shall live?"

David: "I will."

Minister: "Rebecca Starnes, will you take David Paul Baker as your husband and live together as God has ordained? Will you love him, obey him, honour and protect him, in sickness and in health, and forsaking all others be faithful to him as long as you both shall live?"

Rebecca: "I will."

Minister: (Directs them to face each other)

David: "I, David Paul Baker, take you Rebecca Starnes to be my wife. To have and to hold from this day forward. For better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish until death us to part. According to God's holy law, and this is my solemn vow."

Rebecca: "I, Rebecca Starnes, take you David Paul Baker to be my husband. To have and to hold from this day forward. For better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love, cherish and obey until death us to part. According to God's holy law, and this is my solemn vow."

David: "I give you this ring as a sign of our marriage. With my body I honour you. All that I am I give to you and all that I have I share with you. In the name of the Father, and the Son and the Holy Spirit. Amen."

Rebecca: "I give you this ring as a sign of our marriage. With my body I honour you. All that I am I give to you and all that I have I share with you. In the name of the Father, and the Son and the Holy Spirit. Amen."

Minister: (Takes both right hands in his). "Since you have made your vows in the presence of God and this congregation and signified your love with the giving and receiving of a ring - I now pronounce you husband and wife. Those whom God has joined together let no one put asunder."

Minister: "You may kiss the bride."

What did they promise?

Love

Forever

Whatever

SLIDE: What did they promise? Love. Forever. Whatever.

Ask the class what Rebecca and David promised each other.

The wedding vows can be summarised with the following three words: Love, Forever, Whatever.

“To love and cherish”
You might ask them what they would cherish. It is not a word used very much now, but it means to look after something which is valuable or precious very carefully.
“Until death do us part”
This implies that one or other will be at the other’s death. The commitment is through all the challenges and difficulties of old age as well as sickness.
“For better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health”
You may marry a millionaire, an athlete or a beautiful model but you are promising to stick by each other faithfully even if all the money runs out, they find themselves in a wheelchair or their looks fade.

What does love look like?

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonour others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

The Bible - 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

In marriage you know where you stand...

...and so does everyone else.

Marriage is recognised and protected by law

That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.

Genesis 2:24

“...leave father and mother...”

“...be united to his wife...”

“...become one flesh...”

What factors are placing a strain upon marriages in our society?

SLIDE: What factors are placing a strain upon marriages in our society?

Sadly, not all marriages remain happy and some end in divorce. Ask the class what factors might put a strain on a marriage?

Answers might correctly include:

lack of money
breakdown in communication
losing a job
not being able to have children
being unfaithful
use of pornography
illness or accidents
having to work away from home
interfering in-laws
substance abuse

Couples who face these issues may need to take special care and seek advice and support from family and friends.

Video:

Marriage

Video duration: 1:47

Transcript for reference:

Martin: "I met Jenny first when we were quite a bit younger. We went to the same youth group but we probably didn't get to know each other until we were about seventeen. I guess I thought she was stunning and liked her personality, her confidence. Spotted her across that crowded youth group and asked her out. Fortunately she said yes!"

Richard: "We met at university - it was a disco evening. Many years ago - 33 years, 35 years ago! Andrea saw me across a crowded room and thought 'yes'." (laughs)

Andrea: "I did."

Richard: "...and here we are. Well we decided to get married - I think it was the natural thing to do. We were getting on really well. We clearly loved each other, and we wanted to build a life together."

Martin: "I think if you realise that you want to spend your life with someone then getting married before you live together is showing that commitment to each other."

Richard: "If you're not willing to get married - what sort of commitment is that to a relationship? If you're not married, then you just walk off the next day."

Andrea: "I wouldn't have thought a lot about a guy who'd not wanted to commit to me."

Jenny: "Having Martin stand in front of me and say those vows was an amazing thing. To hear him promising 'for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health'. No matter what happens he's going to be there for me, and no matter who else he meets he's going to love me all my life."

Both the couples used the word “commitment” – what did they mean?

Make a decision that it will last
Be faithful
Be loving and thoughtful
Be forgiving

A good marriage

SLIDE: A good marriage

Here are four principles that will help a marriage stay strong and committed:

Make a decision that it will last
We must go into marriage determined that it will work and, if difficulties arise, to work through those difficulties together.
Be faithful
It is essential for a husband and wife to remain sexually faithful to each other.
Be loving and thoughtful
It is important to be loving and thoughtful, even about small things, rather than selfish or thoughtless.
Be forgiving
It is important to forgive each other when you upset or wrong each other.

Module 1

What is marriage?

Marriage - a good design

Marriage may seem a long way off...

...but the choices you make NOW in relationships will affect your whole life.

Marriage Vows

What did they promise?

Love

Forever

Whatever

In marriage you know where you stand...

...and so does everyone else.

Marriage is recognised and protected by law

“...leave father and mother...”

“...be united to his wife...”

“...become one flesh...”

Marriage

A good marriage

Module 1

What is marriage?

Other modules:

Marriage -
a good design

Marriage may seem a long
way off...